Breast Cancer / my cancer

Into the Unknown

snow4 It’s x-mas eve of the most wonderful and horrible holiday season I could imagine. I get to spend the actual holiday with people and animals I love. There’s snow on the ground and a duraflame blazing in the fireplace and holiday movies in abundance on TV.

On the other side, are my brain mets and the very real possibility that this holiday will be my last. And since I won’t see any doctors until January, I don’t know if I’m in the 2-8 month average survival rate, or if the end of the road ahead offers more options and possibilities for treatment. Adding to that the devastation of Hurricane Sandy, the horror of the massacre at Newtown, little girls shot in the face by the Taliban and hourly tweets and reports from Fearless Friends from the San Antonio Breast Cancer Symposium in early December. Still reeling from my whole brain radiation therapy, Facebook and twitter were flooded with reports from the conference. I was so proud of the work my friends were doing, but everywhere I looked there was cancer. There was death.

But that’s not what matters today. I don’t know where the path ahead is going to lead, but I do know that tomorrow will be lovely. I hope it is lovely for all of you too.


4 thoughts on “Into the Unknown

  1. All the more reason to put your total heart into this one and make it the best ever, in hopes you’ll have many repeats in the future.

  2. dear acacia,

    i hope it really was a lovely day for you, and that there were some happy surprises for you as well. sometimes we get to have a little grace that just gently enfolds us and lets us be content with the here and now. i am so glad that you were able to have that.

    love, XOXO,

    karen, TC

  3. We had a wonderful holiday! I had more energy, we had snow, yummy treats, a cozy fire, and pretty good Chinese food for dinner (as we Jews are want to do.)

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