On Saturday night I ran into my old yoga instructor and she suggested that I come back to yoga at the cancer center. I’ve been wary of being around “survivors” (being their worst nightmare and all), but I went tonight and it was really nice. I’ve been looking for a place of quiet for a while. As my last post showed, I’ve been a little tense. The class was all restorative, which was exactly what I needed. I’ve been feeling good for the past few days, but I’m dreading Thursday. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I have to start chemo again, other than just do it and feel like shit. I’d been feeling like shit for so long that I’d forgotten what it felt like to feel good. Now I don’t want to go back.
Another reason for my positive energy right now is that I GOT A CAR!!!!! Finally, after four years, I have a car of my own! Frankly, I’m beside myself. It feels so strange to be able to go where I want, when I want that I can’t think of anywhere to go. Don’t tell Todd, but I’ve started blinking (botox shots due in 2 weeks), but I’m driving anyway, just not with him in the car. It’s a 2008 Jeep Liberty.
Yoga was nice, and I feel relaxed (for once) and sleepy.